the circular runner

my obsession with wordpress themes only means i am avoiding writing…

In humor, life, media, observations, Uncategorized, writing on May 17, 2012 at 9:20 am

 

My son, Elias Mercer Martinez Bodden (sans hyphen, thank you very much) was born on April 21st.  Yes, congrats to my wife and I are in order.  Partly, this is why I have not been writing on this lovely blog, which I know must bum all of you 65 readers.  I was warned that fatherhood would slow my writing down, and I am sure that my 3 hours MAX of sleep doesn’t help any.  But I come from a long line of crazy people who can function on less than normal amounts of sleep until they can’t.  All kidding aside, I will admit that much of what people have told me about parenthood is both surprisingly spot-on and equally surprisingly full of s**t.  Or maybe it’s just that though I’m Latino and open-arms and flappy-happy in some ways, I also have a little Scandinavian reticence about things that mean a lot to me.  So, I will not say that everything in my life is different now because it isn’t and because it is. I still have to work and I still have to write and I am still the same crazy me.  And yet things are also different, as is the simple fact that almost out of whole cloth, I have a new loved one in my life.

On a couple especially bad nights, when Elias was especially fussy and I when managed to walk him into something resembling calm, he has, out of nowhere, opened one eye as if to say,

HA, SUCKER, I AM NOT SLEEPING AND I AM NOT CALM.  RAHHHHHHHHHHH.

Well, yes, I tell Elias under my breath, I am a sucker for what I am assuming will be my wife’s eyes, which he inherited.  I was a sucker for her eyes and I am a sucker for his.  I am in love with a baby boy.  Instant love, like Yuban or NesCafe.  My boy is the instant coffee of love.  That may not make sense, but I didn’t sleep much, so lump it.

And yet, the boy is not solely responsible for my lack of verbiage these last few weeks.  No, the real cause of my absence on this wordpress blog has been wordpress itself, or at least, the third party creators of wordpress themes.  I am chill in most thngs, but I have a little OCD streak that arises from time to time, and wordpress themes bring that streak out in spades.  I’m changing.  It’s not the fatherhood, damn it.  Stop thinking that it is, I know you, my readers, think it is, but its not.

I’m becoming techie-boy, or at least, wanna-be techie.  I’m letting my New Yorker subscription lapse and am replacing with a re-up of Wired and a new subscription with MacWorld.  Favorite artist of late?  Steve Jobs.  I get excited about some websites and how they are put together the way some get woodies for Michelangelo.  (That might be overstating things, but I do think there is some real artistry going on with a lot of sites.) And if you pay attention to such things, you start to notice that many of the most beautiful sites up are doctored wordpress themes.

I live in San Francisco, which makes one more susceptible to an appreciation of all things techie, but it’s not just that.  I spent the last two weeks scouring the web for a couple wordpress themes that would fit my portfolio site, which I am hopeful you will check out. (Please do so now, if you like.)  I also was looking for sites for another couple projects.  There are thousands of themes out there, and I think I saw all of them.  Yes, as Elias was keeping me up, only sleeping when nestled on my lap, I looked at over a thousand templates ver the course of a week.

This is disturbibg on many levels.  Disturbing enough that I will now share my crazy inner dialogue with you:

1.  Am I a bad parent because I should’ve been completely focused on my baby’s every facial mannerism/tick as he slept?

Not sure about this one.  He was sleeping, and I wasn’t.  AND I do pay attention to that kid’s face in daylight, damn it!

OK, how about this?  2.  I spent hours of my life looking at mocked up sites–by the way, if you ever buy a theme, don’t be confused.  They look great when they are all tricked out, but when you first get that thing uploaded or downloaded (I’m obviously not that much of a techie), the thing you get is so lame and plain that you will want to cry.)

Yes, I am silly.  But I can’t help it.  I like beautiful things.  I’m a Libra, zodiacally programmed to make up words and appreciate lovely things.

3.  I should’ve been writing instead of worrying about how to get a site together that, at least in the abstract, is supposed to be there for others to come check out my writing, which I am not doing because I am too busy looking for a theme, buying that theme, setting up that theme so that it will awesomely show off my writing, which, as stated above, I am not doing.  JESUS, I’m looping.

I have no real excuse for this last point.  It’s not really a new thing for a writer trying to break through to have to be his own business manager, which in this day and age, means being a bit of a social media guru.  But there’s something deeper going on.

I’m going to save those thoughts for the next blog post but suffice it to say that I am changing and it’s not the fatherhood, for f&*k’s sake.  My brain is changing.  I am becoming more of a multi-tasker, more of a visual person, or maybe I’m just embracing what I always was.  But there’s a price.  Let me leave it there.  I need to tweet and read through the recent Wired and look for an app.  And if there’s time tonight, as Elias sleeps on one arm, I will start my shrine to Steve Jobs–that guy was a genius.

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  2. First of all congrats Papa.. you now know a form of love unlike any other..welcome to the “best love in the world” club…. as a parent myself all I can say is strap in, it’s gonna be a bumpy flight for a few more weeks then one day you will hear *silence* Yes, The boy is sleeping and not crying 🙂

    Seriously, all the best to you, Momma and little man!!
    lynne

  3. Congratulations!

  4. How did I miss this? Hearty congrats to you and your wife! Nothing like that first time you get your hands on that baby. Feels like your heart cracks open and everything falls in. Joy to you!!!

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