the circular runner

1 scary idea writers should avoid, though I can’t…

In career, humor, life, observations, Uncategorized, writing on November 21, 2012 at 4:21 am

Recently, I have spent hours figuring out how to put columns into my posts.  I like the magazine look of…uh, magazines.  But I am a bit of a dunderhead, and so instead of learning to do it the proper way, I hack my way through some short code plug-ins and spend a lot of time–not sure why–struggling to make my posts not look like shite.

Now, from the last sentence, you might have noticed that I am spending a little too much time reading web-shite.  I never before this post have used the word, “hack,” at least not in verb-form.  I have used the word in it’s more writerly sense–as in, I don’t want to be a hack-writer who uses jargon unnecessarily because that would be…uh, hack-writing, which is very different from the idea of hacking my way through this blog, which could either refer to my sawing through something, like your patience, dear reader, or finding a workable solution.

Jesus.  I need to get out more often.  I say this, though I do not think I will get out more often because I am working my butt off trying to figure out how I can make money–more money.  And this is what the problem is.  Why am I not writing more?

Lately, I’ve come to this scary idea: what if I am not writing more because I don’t really want to be a writer?  What if, in fact, I’d rather spend my time figuring out how to make blogs look cool?  Or what if I’d rather figure out how to connect all the strangds of social media for clients, like what I am doing, or trying to do, for my writing career?

Don’t I want to write books? You know, I’m not sure I do.  I don’t obsess about books or writing.  In all honesty, if you asked me what I am obsessed about, I’d say there are two things: 1. design and 2. making more money.

Weird things to admit considering I am a writer.

So what’s going on?  Am I finding myself?  Have I just drunk some strange brew of Bay Area tech-coolaid?  Or, something else?

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  1. To be honest, Gabe, that thought would totally freak me out. I would offer that whatever seems most like play is the thing you were meant to do. For me, even after all the rejection, disinterest and frustration, it’s still writing.

    • Joe, you are always the voice of reason in my oftentimes unreasonable world. I don’t know where this is all leading. I agree that play is really vital. But sometimes, I worry that should not indulge that idea too much. I have always been a jack of all trades. It’s my way. But generalists, though interesting, do not do very well, unless they are geniuses. Sadly, I have come to the hard realization that I am all too average. OH well, I’ll keep moving along. I’m planning some changes for this blog and for my career in the new year. Let’s see what happens. Happy Turkey Day!

  2. Writing, design and making more money all seem to fit very nicely together. I would be thrilled to have design skills and/or the patience to gain and use them. I would be a much more desirable hire.

    • That’s the thing of it. They do tie nicely together. But I wish I would have realized that ten, fifteen years ago. Sometimes I feel like a bit of a man-child–I have the face of a middle-aged man, and the skills of a pre- adolescent.

      Oh well, better late than never.

      Thanks for the comment!

  3. Really Gabe? Are you just having a temporary lull like we all do or are you for real?
    I think Joe put it very nicely. I would also add that we all go through periods when we feel like total amateurs. This is normal and, in fact, might be the sign of evolution. So there.

  4. I think there are, and have been, many writers who didn’t actually like the ACT of writing — it’s work! and avoidance is, at least from what I understand, the biggest obstacle.

    Or, perhaps, you should be in layout, or editing, or design, or production. . .

    What happens if you don’t write at all for a while? I’m a musician, and I can’t seem to stop writing. . .maybe I SHOULD have been a writer.

      • I always felt that part of being a “writer” meant that you had “readers,” and at 177 followers am not really feeling like that qualifies.

        I do appreciate you saying that though. Was just wondering the other day if my time could be spent more productively. But if some of my favorite readers think I’m a writer, then I guess I am.

  5. […] alive.  The great Joe Ponepinto, whose blog is very cool and worth a look, recently mentioned in a comment that I should just follow my bliss.  And maybe that’s the thing: I bliss out doing shit the […]

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